Stayed up late last night, really in the mood for a good horror flick, or at least an entertaining one, so I checked out the FEARnet on demand channel HD offerings and saw they had I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer listed as a new release. I didn't even know this thing had come out yet. That should have been my first clue.
It was a free view, so I thought "What the hell....it's only 86 minutes of my life....how bad could it be?"
Very, very bad.
I admit, I kinda knew what I was getting into...I'm no big fan of the first two I Know.... flicks, but this was just ridiculous. Did anyone actually make a dime off this crap? If so, they should feel completely ashamed of themselves and would be wise to score some karma points by donating that dime to a deserving charity. I don't know what the creators were trying to pull off here, but it felt like they were trying to turn the "Fisherman" (yeah, that's what they call the slasher in this one) into some cheap Jason Voorhees knock-off. And not the uber-cool Voorhees of Jason Lives or The New Blood; I'm talking imitation Jason Takes Manhattan. This guy pops in and out, teleporting around with such ease that one wonders why he doesn't just pop in, slash the deserving teen, then pop back out again, no muss, no fuss. I guess that wouldn't make for a very interesting movie, tho. Not that it would matter in this case. Should have avoided this one and spent those 86 minutes watching some Simpsons episodes. Would have been a lot scarier.
I think I'll go wash out the stain this left on my brain by reading a little of Boom! Studios Tag.